Do You Have To Ditch That Latte To Realize Your Financial Dreams?

 

spending money on latte or your financial dreams

Are you spending money on latte?  Latte or financial dreams?  There has been a lot of talk recently on the Web about how spending money on a latte ends up screwing up your finances and your retirement.  Someone else, I can’t remember who, wrote that avocado toasts are really the culprit that sends many to the poor house, or at least without enough money to buy a home or realize their financial dreams.

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My first throught was, “Are you kidding me?”  It takes more than a few latte(s) to do that.    But I kept thinking about those articles and every time I had a latte, in my case americano, I wondered.

What made me wonder was not so much the $2. I splurge on a coffee once a week or so, but when I often saw the people in line ahead of me, spending $8 or more for a latte and an overpriced muffin.  That’s $40 a week, $160 a month and $1,920 a year!

My frugal mind chose to think that A)they either only splurged once a month or B) they are the wealthy among us and this expense is really just a drop in the bucket for them.

I also remembered people from my days working in financial services and the reality that many spent their life in debt and never realized their dreams.  To save and realize your financial dreams, you need a different mindset than when you spent without counting.

What do you need to do?  Who should you listen to?   Is your latte habit a slow leak that will sink your boat and derail your life’s dreams? Continue reading “Do You Have To Ditch That Latte To Realize Your Financial Dreams?”

What You Will Wish Your Younger Self Knew About Saving Money And Becoming A Millionaire

why I need to save money for retirement, saving money retirement, becoming a millionaire, retire with enough, retirement planningAre you wondering “Why do I need to save money for retirement?”    Being poor young is not fun.  Being old and poor sucks.  Saving money for retirement is essential. You don’t want to have to work past retirement age because you are poor.

I don’t mean retirement per se but is the fear that you will be poor because you have not been saving money keep you up at night?  Or have you been distracting yourself and avoiding looking at your finances and financial future hoping for some miracle?

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Marguerite Tennier (makesenseoflife.com) is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com and amazon.ca

 

Have you saved enough?  Did you take time to calculate how much income your nest will provide ?  Did you take into account the factor of “inflation”?  Do you dream of a quiet retirement lifestyle or are you hoping keep the same lifestyle and to travel extensively?

You know that  “hindsight is 20-20?   Nowhere is this more true  than when we talk about saving money.  When you reach retirement and wish you had been more diligent about where to spend,  because you look at your retirement options and see how you could definitely use a couple more hundred thousand dollars in your retirement fund right now.

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I know.  Saving money is not easy. (But the following 35 tips will help you).  I don’t find it easy to save money, whether it is to stay on budget at the grocery store or pass by those gorgeous clothes and shoes and say to myself “NO”.  Neither do I find it easy to stay in a smallish apartment and not move to a more modern and larger place. Continue reading “What You Will Wish Your Younger Self Knew About Saving Money And Becoming A Millionaire”

Ditch The New Normal With Your Health, Love Life And Money

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Stand Out!  Don’t be Afraid, Ditch Normal

I know, this goes against everything your mom and common sense told you since you were a toddler.  Everyone wants to be seen as normal, right? Normal means fitting in, being like everyone else, part of the majority.

stand out, don't be afraid, ditch new normal

Well, no more, at least when it comes to these three aspects of your life.  Because today many people find it normal to be overweight and in poor health, to settle in relationships and to have debt and little or no net worth.

 

Normal Health?  No way.

 

The new normal in America is if you are in the norm, you are very overweight, maybe obese.  Because you are so uncomfortable, you rarely walk or do any other kind of exercise.

 

If you are normal in America, it means you eat fast food regularly, smoke, eat very little fruit and vegetable and barely know how to cook.  In fact, you also eat out a lot and your fridge has mostly soft drinks, beer, some frozen pizza and other processed food.

 

If you are normal, you have latent heart problems and or type 2 diabetes, and there is a good chance you will die fairly young or spend your last years in a wheelchair.

 

It’s become normal in America to have obese kids who slurp on soft drinks, watch tv or play on computer most of the time and are addicted to junk food.  Today’s youngs may die younger than their parents because their bad health starts when they are so young.

 

Where do you fit in that picture?  If you find that this is a pretty accurate description of your health, you can change it.  It’s quite simple really although it’s not necessarily easy.

 

First, ditch the junk food.  Invest in some fruits and vegetables. Then, start cooking.  And start walking.  Identify your triggers for eating badly.  Attack them one by one.  Make friends with people who eat healthy.  Make friends with people who walk or exercise and value their health.  Meal planning can help you eat healthier.

stand out, don't be afraid, eat healthy, ditch new normal

 

Someone said Continue reading “Ditch The New Normal With Your Health, Love Life And Money”

A Home Equity Line of Credit (HELOC) What You Need to Know Before you Get One

What you need to know before you get a Home Equity Line of Credit (HELOC)

home equity line of credit (HELOC)

How I wish I knew then what I know now about a home equity line of credit (HELOC), also called Equity Line.

Marguerite Tennier (makesenseoflife.com) is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com and amazon.ca

If you are thinking about getting a Home Equity line of credit, “just in case”, read this and thank me later.  A word of warning: a Home Equity Line of Credit is not play money and it’s not a savings account.  It’s a potential debt.

The greatest advantage of a line of credit is that it usually has a much lower rate of interest than a credit card.  A line of credit is a useful product if you have a business – A business line of credit is a financial instrument typically used for an organization’s short-term working capital needs, such as inventory purchases, future project costs, or company payroll. Lines of credit are mainly to help even out the organization’s cash flow.

Then there is the personal line of credit, often called a HELOC or Home Equity Line of Credit.  This type of line of credit is secured by the equity in your house.  (This is the type I got, more of that later).  Another name for it could be “second mortgage”, but nobody at the bank ever uses that term. Continue reading “A Home Equity Line of Credit (HELOC) What You Need to Know Before you Get One”

An Expert’s advice: For a Passionate, Happy Marriage: Connect –

Marguerite Tennier (makesenseoflife.com) is a participant in the Amazon.com.ca, Inc. Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.ca.”

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For a passionate, happy marriage: connect.createe a lifelong passionate, happy marriage

Those of you who know me  know that I am a life-long learner.  I love learning new stuff but not just any stuff.  What interests me is everything about what makes us tick as human beings, what makes us happy and what makes for good relationships and a healthy, happy marriage.  I am a book worm, and now with all I can find on the web, I am in heaven.

I recently listened to a very interesting interview with Jeff Forte.  Jeff was a a conflict resolution professional working with CEO’s and other executives to improve team work before he became a relationship specialist.

How Jeff came to work from couples is directly related to what he did for a living.  He used the same strategies he used with CEO’s to try and resolve the trouble at home with his wife (it worked).  So began his career working with couples.

passionate, happy marriage

 

What does Jeff know that you don’t?  Well I was as curious as you. Continue reading “An Expert’s advice: For a Passionate, Happy Marriage: Connect –”

Best Tips To Stop Emotional Eating

 

Best Tips To Stop Emotional Eating and overeating

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Even without emotional eating , it is a lot more difficult for us women to lose weight than it is for men .Even at 30 and even more so around and after menopause.  And for some a small number of us there can be other factors like an underperforming thyroid.

However, for a large majority of us, emotions are the driving factor that gets us from the couch to the fridge.

North Americans are not happy.  More than 50% hate their jobs.  Around 50% of marriages end in divorce and of those who remain married a small percentage – some say around 15% – are happy.  Over 20% of the population is drinking to excess or using drugs – and that’s only the ones we know about.

This sad state of affairs has created a world where food has become the legal and acceptable drug of choice.  The term “emotional eating” has never been as present as it is today with devastating consequences for our waistlines and our collective health.

Not helping the situation are the gigantic servings in popular restaurants and the millions of fast food places all over, offering what they say is cheap (I’ll write about that in another post, because no they are not cheap) convenient food-like stuff.

If you recognize yourself as an emotional eater, here are some ways you may have fallen into that habit and what you can do instead – must do – to take care of your physical and emotional health and transform your life.

The very first step is to identify the feeling before you reach for the extra-food.  Try to find out what you are feeling at this very moment?  Sad, bored, angry, lonely, or anxious?  Once you have identified the feeling, take an action that will soothe it, without resorting to extra-food, using the tips below.  Be kind to yourself.  You did not start emotional eating last week.  It will take time to make changes in your eating habits.

Stop Emotional Eating

If you overeat when you feel bored, find your passion.  One of the top qualities associated with happiness is curiosity.   Not surprising.  Look at young children.  They want to see and touch and do everything possible.  People who keep on learning for the sake of learning are some of the happiest around.  To find something that interests you, look around, look back when you were a child or young adult.

Maybe you did not have a chance to take piano or singing lessons because there was not enough money in the family.  Find yourself a piano or singing teacher.  Ever wanted to be a ballerina?  You may never make it to the Met but you can take ballet lessons, just for your own pleasure.  Look here to find a class you might want to take.

If you overeat when you feel lonely, get your list of favourite people and get in touch.  Whether it’s because you are away from family or not being able to see them often or feeling lonely because of a disconnection in your relationship(s), loneliness is a 21st century disease.  If you can call, visit, email, text a loved one, do it.  If you feel lonely because there is a disconnection in your primary relationship, reach out.  Tell how you feel, without accusing.  Hopefully the response will be a loving one.

I know from experience that it’s not easy to reach out – my early life experience has left me worrying about bothering people.  So now I talk to myself into doing it even when it feels uncomfortable.

It takes on person to reach out to possibly repair and re-connect.  Try it.  If you consistently get a no-response or a negative one, see if you need a serious talk or a counselling session to help you decide whether to stay or leave.

If you overeat when you feel unloved (and unlovable), be loving to yourself.  Eating too much or the wrong stuff is abandoning yourself.  If you need love, a cookie or the whole box will not deliver love.  Look at a picture of yourself as a baby and ask what that little one needs right now.  It might be a nap, or a nice walk, or watching a funny movie, or being with someone who you know totally loves you (yes, even your mother counts) and tell them you need a hug or a cuddle.  Ask for what you need from your partner, your friends, your family.

Look at the ways you have been unloving toward yourself: overeating, not sleeping enough, too much tv, no exercise,  not allowing yourself time off, a nice meal, a trip, help around the house, etc.

If you overeat when you feel disrespected, respect yourself and speak up – unless it’s physically dangerous to do so.  In that case, find a safe space.

Not standing up for yourself is one of the worse things you can do for both your physical an mental health.  The stress hormones you secrete are poison.

If you overeat when you are angry, first process what happened.  Don’t take it out on yourself with food.  Anger is a very healthy emotion unless it’s your default place.  Anger can show up when someone has violated our boundaries, or when we see someone else being treated badly.  If there is a cause you feel particularly passionate about, get involved as a volunteer.  If someone repeatedly violates your boundaries, remove yourself, permanently if things don’t change.

If you overeat because you hate your job, make a plan to find work where you will be happier.  Take a class, network to see what jobs are available, either in your present company or outside.  If possible, ask for a transfer to another department.  Investigate what education you would need to get the work you really want.

I did just that when I worked in the government, in administration and I was bored to death and I hated the work.  See this past post where I talk about it.  I can assure you that when I first tried to imagine getting the Master’s degree I would need, I totally believed it was not possible.  Fast forward 7 years later, I had the B.A. and the M.A. and I was in a totally new career.  If I could do it, you can too.

If you overeat because you feel old, put on your favourite music and dance.  Watch movies you liked when you were younger.  Treat yourself to a haircut.  If you are still wearing the same clothes you were wearing 20 years ago, treat yourself to a few new pieces of clothing.  No need to break the bank.  Consignement stores hold treasures at basement bargain prices.  If you feel old, stop referring to your age.  Look in the mirror, smile and say an age about 20 years younger than your chronological age.  Imagine yourself being 20 years younger.

Some of the best ways to feel younger is to be physically active through sports, or other activities.  I do ballroom dancing and I just started argentine tango.  I also do taichi, swim and walk regularly.  The other way to feel younger is to remain mentally active.  Read, learn new things.  I learned Italian a few years ago – one year of weekly classes.  I am now learning technical stuff related to my blog and although I find it extremely challenging, it’s keeping my brain active and that’s good.

If you overeat or practice emotional eating because you are unhappy in a loveless, or toxic relationship, and you have given it your best shot, take care of yourself and leave.   Consult a professional to clarify what you want and need to do.   You deserve to be with someone who cherishes you and you cherish too.   Some relationships, through no one’s fault, should have never been in the first place.  Others are abusive and toxic.  Both are hard to leave but your mental, and physical health deserve better.

Finally, there is another reason some of us overeat that is not emotional eating: we love the taste of food and are gluttons!  I know some of my overeating is simply because it’s so good -I am not really hungry but that cake is divine, or the pizza to die for.  I sometimes do this when I bake a cake, or a pie, raspberry pie.  Or with chinese food, my very favorite.  One thing to ask before taking that second helping is “Am I really hungry?  Do I want to regret this?  Will this sabotage my work of the last few weeks? Is it worth it?”  That kind of interior monologue can help, sometimes not. Ideally it does not happen too often.

If you resonate with any of the above triggers for overeating and emotional eating, surround yourself with people who are self-loving and manage their emotions in a healthy way.  They are the kind of people who will not sabotage your efforts at a healthier lifestyle and plan non-food activities with the others: hiking, a movie, an outdoor concert, a play, going dancing, a swim at the lake, etc.

If you found this post useful, please let me know and  share it with your network and on social media

Marguerite

 

3 Things You Must Know To Save Money (And Grief) Before Buying A House

3 Things You Must Know To Save Money (And Grief) Before Buying A House

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Buying a house is the biggest expense you will ever have.  Not only thousand of dollars, but hundreds of thousands.  Unless you live in a small town, it’s very unlikely you can find something under $150,000, for  a condo, more likely well over $200,000 for a single family home.  In many cities the cost of the average home is over $400,000

I was totally clueless when I bought my first house.  I was lucky.  The price of houses then was not what it is today and I used some inheritance money to have more than the 20% downpayment.

Fast forward a few years and I made huge mistakes when buying another house.  Check this previous post on the subject of big money mistakes.  I made a bad decision and unfortunately neither the real estate agent nor the lending institution gave me advice.

Hopefully I can save you some grief.  Here are my top 3 recommendations for when you buy a house.

PROJECT: BUY HOUSE 101

  • Have at least 20% as a down payment.

  • This will save you paying the lender’s mortgage insurance (LMI), an amount that is added to your mortgage – and amortized over years, with interest.  Yes you could pay it in advance, but why not put that extra 2.8 to 4.% (at least $9,000  or so on a $300,000 home) on the down payment.

This will not only save you from paying the insurance, plus interest on the insurance but will also reduce your monthly payments.  Yes you will pay interest for the length of your mortgage on that insurance, so it will probably cost you over $10,000 in interests)  Ouch! Ouch!

I know it’s not easy to save that kind of money.  But if saving load of money is important for you, then do everything you can to succeed.  Live in smaller quarters, share an apartment, live frugally, postpone buying a car.  Remember why you are saving and how much money a sacrifice today will save you tomorrow.

Make extra payments

  • You know that money you save by having 20% down and saving the cost of the insurance+ interests on said insurance?  You can now put that money aside and either add it to your monthly payments or once a year make an extra payment that will go directly to lowering the principal you owe.  Because, as you may have seen if you looked at a mortgage amortization graph, the first few years of mortgage payments go mainly to paying the interest, with a few dollars only to the principal.  If your mortgage is $100,000 , at 6.5% over 30 years,  total payment $632., your first payment would go mostly to paying interest ($541.) and $90. toward reducing the amount borrowed.  When you make your last payment, about $3.00 remains on the interest to be paid and $540 will go to the amount borrowed.

Bottom line: it pays to increase your monthly payment  by a few dollars or make an extra payment a year – in this example, increasing the monthly payments by about $70. can save you $50,000 in interest – that’s big money – because it would shorten the term of your mortgage from 30 years to 23.

If your bank does not allow larger monthly payments, most lenders allow you to make an extra payment every year on the anniversary date.  This will also save you tens of thousands of dollars.  If your house cost 3 times the example I used,  then you can save 3 times as much with extra payments.

Even if the interest you pay on the mortgage is deductible, up to a certain amount, it is not as good as not spending the money to start with. Keeping the money in your pocket is better than getting a deduction after you spend it.

Don’t buy mortgage insurance, buy this instead

Finally, don’t buy mortgage insurance.  Yes you need insurance to cover the mortgage should you or your spouse die, but mortgage insurance is not the way to go because the amount that is insured goes down as you pay down the mortgage but the payments remain the same.  Declining benefits and possibly higher premiums.

Mortgage insurance premiums are usually higher than those for life insurance – all other things being equal – and not only that, if you change lender you will need to take a new policy, at a higher premium, because you are now older, and if you have health issues, you can be refused or charged such high premiums that it may not be possible for you to proceed with the purchase of the house.

A better alternative is to buy term life insurance.  A term life insurance is portable and will remain in force if you switch lenders or sell the present house and buy another.    This insurance will pay out the full amount whether the insured dies in the first year or in the 27th year.   If you buy term life insurance, once you are accepted and have disclosed any health issue you may have, you are in.  Most terms will cover you until age 65 without a hike in premiums

A final warning about mortgage insurance sold by your bank.  There have been horror stories when the bank refused to pay because they do the underwriting (looking at whether you qualify or not) at claim time.  Any small error on that quick at the bank application form and you are toast, or your family is if you are the dead one.

 

Finally, last but really first to do before home buying: educate yourself.  The state or province where you live may have different laws that affect borrowing, interest, taxes, etc. Go speak with your bank, or better talk to a mortgage broker (they get you the best rates), speak to an insurance agent and ask questions until you are clear that you understand the implications for each choice, read about the different kinds of mortgage – open vs closed, fixed vs variable – Don’t be intimidated into buying any kind of product, or house.  Wait until you are ready and feel confident with your choices.  Related reading

Remember that those who want to make money either selling you a house or lending you money don’t necessarily have your best interest at heart.  Do your homework.

Marguerite

 

 

Quick, Easy Ways to Save Money

HOW TO SAVE MONEY: Quick, Easy Ways

 

how to save money, saving money, money saving tips, best ways to save money

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It’s easy to find occasions to spend money but occasions to save money are all around us too.  They just need a little more work because they are not publicized as much.  Here are a few fairly easy ones I used this week.

But first, think about something you really would like to do, either a trip, buying your first home, taking an art class and direct some of the saved money into that special project saving account.  It’s not just about not spending. It’s about putting your money into something that really means something for you.  That’s the reason you want to save money.

Wash with cold water.   Unless you are washing very dirty, oily clothes, using cold water to wash clothes works just fine.  Easier on your clothes.

Use less soap than what the laundry detergent box says you should.   Most of the clothes we wash – except for work clothes and some kids’ just need some refreshing.  Using less soap is also kinder to the fibres in clothes.

Install-use the clothesline.  I washed flanelette bedsheets this week and within 2 hours they were dry and smelling of Spring.  Your clothes dryer is one of the worse energy vampires in your home.

Hem those jeans, sew that button.  If need be, take a basic sewing class. Doing those small repairs saves money and time.  It will serve you well.

Bake that cake.  I baked a Queen Elizabeth cake yesterday.  I figure it cost me about $5.00 including the cream-butter-brown sugar caramel I drowned it in.  Same cake at a fancy pastry shop: at least $20.  As a bonus I reduced the amount of sugar used, so less calories and I added cranberries for some fibre.   Time needed prepare the cake: about 15 minutes.

Go for a walk and do body weight exercises.  I went for a long walk along the river on Friday.  The weather was gorgeous – beautiful Spring day.   Got some vitamin D from the sunshine, walking is weight bearing so good for the bones.  Used free weights at home for upper body strength training.  No gym membership needed.  Exercising in nature is also a great way to boost the mental well being.

Make coffee at home instead of using Tim’, or Second Cup, Starbucks or Bridgehead.  Buy the best coffee and brew it at home.  I save at least $58 a month by avoiding coffee shops, except once or twice a month when I treat myself to coffee on the patio.  If you usually buy specialty coffee and something to eat, calculate how much you could save by preparing your own treats at home (see above: learn to bake).  I know people who regularly spend around $200 a month on coffee and donuts!!!!! That’s almost $25,000 over 10 years!!! In coffee and donuts.  Insane.

Happy Easter

Marguerite

Swagbucks to save and make money

Find some great books to learn cooking and sewing

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6 Tips To Make The Best Use Of Your Income Tax Refund

This post may contain some affiliate links.  See my full disclosure here.HOW TO USE YOUR INCOME TAX REFUND

This is income tax season and many of you may be waiting for your income tax refund cheque. (If you owe the government money, stay tuned, I’ll bring it up in a post soon).

Money does not grow on trees – well paper does – but you can make your money grow when you use these tips.

It’s so tempting to think of the income tax refund as play money.  The tighter the budget, the greater the temptation, but I beg you to look at ways you can make that money work for you.

You’ve all heard how it’s not how much you make but how much you save and it’s absolutely true.  Spending more or as much as you make will leave you penniless and possibly homeless.

We women outlive men.  We women usually earn less than 75% of what a man earns.  The chances you will find yourself widowed or divorced are greater than the chances you will win at the lottery.  Women make up a large percentage of the poor after age 60.  Being poor in retirement sucks.

Before you decide where you will allocate your income tax refund, look at your financial picture.  What you owe, what you own, your savings, your investments, your age, your prospect for higher income, or not in the future, etc

This is important because of at least one reason.  If you don’t  expect your retirement income to be very significant, you should probably invest in a non registered retirement plan (Roth IRA (Us) TFSA (Canada) so as not to cut yourself from government supplement at retirement.  Do consult an advisor and inform yourself as to what is best for you.  Knowledge is power.

The first tips is to pay down your debts, but do keep some money to fill up your emergency fund too if you either have no emergency fund to speak of (like if you only have a few dollars saved).  In other words, don’t put all to reducing your debt because that will leave you at the mercy of credit should an emergency happen and it would just add to more debt.

income tax refund: make the best use of your tax refund, income tax return

  • Pay your debts. Pay your credit card balance, your student loans or what you owe to your parents.   Start by paying the debt with the highest interest rate because that’s the one that steals the most money from you.  See paragraph above about saving some too, even if you have debts to pay.
  • Fill up your emergency fund.  First get it to $1,000, and eventually to having 6 months living expenses.  Imagine how free you will feel if you lose your job, or have medical emergencies.
  • Start a saving account or add to the one you already have.  Emergency fund is for emergencies.  Savings is for: a planned trip, a wedding, buying a house, a big celebration, changing your car, home improvements, etc.
  • Start investing for your retirement, add to your retirement fund.  The younger you start, the better for you as you will reap the rewards of compound interest.   Match your employer’s share and invest in a IRA or TFSA. When you can no longer make money you will thank your younger self for having had the forethought of taking care of you.
  • Invest in your education.  Whether in a course to help you get ahead in your work, or classes to prepare for another career.  I invested heavily in my education as a adult and it has allowed me to change career and find work I loved.  It has also allowed me to retire early and have a home business as a psychotherapist and life coach, and finally it is allowing me to continue working with this blog.  I am a big advocate of finding work you love so whether or not you make big money, you are excited to get up each morning.
  • Start the side business you’ve dreamt of for so long.  Retirement can be for 20, 25 years.  If you have the energy and you don’t do much, you will be bored to death!!! A side business can keep you mentally and physically active well into your golden years.

Then, keep a little to:

  • Treat yourself to something you’ve wanted for a long time.  Put a limit on it, like 5% of the income tax refund is for fun, 10% max(that’s if you have a very small refund).  My refund this year is $8.34 so I’ll spend it all.
  • Treat someone you love to a a small gift, a meal.  Limit: 5% or 10% max
  • Congratulate yourself for having done what’s best for you.

Is your income tax refund money free money?  In a way, yes as it can get you to financial “free-dom” much sooner than expected.

I hope I have convinced you to take action now to improve your financial wellbeing.  If so, please let me know, and do share this post on social media to help me reach more women.

Add even more to your nest egg by earning money while shopping

Related posts: http://www.makesenseoflife.com/emergency-fund/

Getting rid of debt

 

 

If you are interested to start an online business, create a website, or a blog, check this special on affiliate marketing by an expert (I am presently taking the course).

Tips For Your Milestone Birthday: You Can Heal Your Past

Tips for Your Milestone Birthday: You Can Heal Your Past and Make Your 40’s The Best Decade Of Your Life

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According to research, we are most happy before and after mid-life, or put another way, happiness levels dip at mid-life.  And if this was not enough to cry over, some studies suggest that the great apes, yes monkeys, also experience a dip in happiness around the same time (I am not kidding, there is research on that).

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There seems to be many factors that contribute to this sad state of affairs in your forties, when many people experience “the” middle-life crisis. But because the apes also go through the same “crisis”, it seems that biology plays a role in that phenomenon.

Some of the factors that seem to have an effect on human happiness in mid-life are the many demands of work, children and often aging parents.  It’s often a time when success is defined as having achieved the right job, the right neighbourhood, etc. and when many fall short of the expectations they had for themselves.

And, it’s a time when we realize we are looking at the second half of life and that can be a scary vantage point.

From my work with thousands of women both as a psychotherapist and a life coach, I discovered the three most important steps you can take to help you through those inescapable ups and downs of mid-life.  I call them the 3 Secrets to Make your 40’s the best decade of your life.

Even if biology normalizes a dip in your happiness, you don’t have to take it lying down.  Here is what you can do to build a personal foundation that will make you more resilient to face life’s challenges. Continue reading “Tips For Your Milestone Birthday: You Can Heal Your Past”