Practice Self-Care: How To Have More Pleasure For The Sake Of Your Health

Pleasure = Self-Care:  It’s good for youhow to have more pleasure, pleasure, self-care, dare, risk, fun, adult play

Maybe you already practice self-care.  You do everything you know is good for your health.  And that’s good.  Do you wonder “How can I have more pleasure in my life?”

But if you are like many over 20, women out there, with a career, a main relationship, kids too, you don’t really make much time for pleasure and fun in your life.  Things to do just because they feel good and give you a feeling of enjoyment.  No time you say.  Too much to do.  Pleasures are often related to the senses, touch, smell, taste.

Marguerite Tennier (makesenseoflife.com) is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com and amazon.ca

Maybe, just maybe, even your sex life is, well, not very exciting.  Your main relationship may also show signs of wear and tear.  You and your Significant Other pass by and are dutiful, but gone are the days of giggling and fun.

Well, I am here to help you change all that. Continue reading “Practice Self-Care: How To Have More Pleasure For The Sake Of Your Health”

Stress: 9 Tips To Prepare And Defeat Stress

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Defeat Stress Like A Pro

stress test, survive stress less, lower your stress, how to destress

You already know you are stressed.  No need for a stress test. Learning to defeat stress is what you need and it can be lifesaving.  Stess is a fact of life.  The definition of stress is “demand made”.  We feel stressed when what we have or think we have is less than the sum of what is asked of us.

Life will keep on making demands on you and something in your upbringing may lead you to believe you don’t have what it takes to face certain situations.

I don’t want to minimize that some stressors can be totally frightening and yes, you can feel like a scared 5 year old, whether it’s losing your job, a divorce or worse yet, the death of a loved one.  A lot of how you react to stress may have to do with how stress was lived and dealt with when you were growing up and you can learn to be more resilient.

The problem with stress is that if you don’t learn to manage it, it does not go away and the next stressor can be the proverbial Continue reading “Stress: 9 Tips To Prepare And Defeat Stress”

Alone at Christmas? Start Your Own Traditions

My Traditions Around Christmas

Christmas Eve, Christmas

A few years ago, (when I was a child), stores did not start the Christmas Season in November. I remember getting excited about Christmas a couple of weeks before the Big Day.  One memory I have of the Season is going to see the animated window display at Eaton’s on St-Catherine Street during the school break.  It was magical –  and I so wish some big retail store would re-start that tradition for the little ones   Another good memory is visiting on my dad’s side of the family on Christmas Eve and staying up very late, eating tourtières and pies at the Réveillon, a very French Canadian tradition. This was quite a party for the only child that I was – dozens of cousins and piles of gifts under the tree.

When my children were young, I continued to wait until the week before Christmas to buy and decorate the tree – sometimes we decorated the tree on Christmas Eve.   I also loved the atmosphere in stores on December 24th when I would buy the small gifts to fill their Christmas stockings.   Christmas Eve was the time I chose to wrap my daughters’s gifts.  I would wait until they were in bed, sit by the tree and wrap presents.

Today the girls are all grown up and there are now grandchildren.  I still love the night before Christmas, quiet at home, yes wrapping presents, cooking, baking something sweet for the Christmas day family dinner and reminiscing about the year past.

What are your traditions for the night before Christmas, for Christmas day?  Do you, like me, enjoy the quiet hours at the end of the day to finish wrapping gifts or to relax with a good book or a mushy Christmas movie and do the last preparations for the Christmas dinner?  (I used to put the turkey in the oven, use the timer and wake up to the aroma on Christmas day).  Or do you prefer to be with friends or family and have a Réveillon?

Or are you feeling lonely, dreading the day, especially if there is no planned Christmas family get together?  If so, here are some ideas to help you through on that day as well as on Christmas day.

Christmas, Christmas Eve

  • SOME TIPS IF YOU ARE ALONE AT CHRISTMAS

  • Call your friends – invite them or invite yourself.
  • Look for a place to volunteer serving Christmas dinner to the needy people in your city.  Every big city in North America usually has many places serving a Christmas dinner
  • If you are in recovery, check out AA and NA – they usually have a 24 hour open house and will welcome you with open arms
  • Meetup – there are thousands of groups and many of single people who are also far from their family – members can organize a get together or join one
  • Pamper yourself – you can give yourself a spa treatment at home, cook your favorite food or go to bed early to catch up on your sleep
  • Take yourself on a nice day trip – to a small town or spend some time in nature
  • Red Cross usually has blood donor clinics on December 26.  It feels good to know you can save a life
  • Cook a good meal and share it with a shut in neighbour
  • Remember that all that shines is not necessarily gold.  Many family get togethers are rifled with tension and unhappiness.  As an only child, I always wanted siblings – then I saw how some siblings can be mean to one another.  It helps to put things in perspective.
  • If your finances allow, treat yourself to a trip you’ve always wanted to take
  • Paint a wall – paint a room, finish a project.  I remember the first Christmas after I was divorced and my kids were with their dad on Christmas day, I painted the living room.  It worked.  Got rid of some anxiety and loneliness and slept like a baby that night

Whatever you decide to do, be kind to yourself, be your own Santa and remember that Christmas has become a big commercial endeavour.  And again, remember that all that glitters is not gold.

Let me know how you are spending your Holiday time and if you have other suggestions.  If you enjoyed this post, please share with your friends and on social media to help me reach more people.  Thank you

Related post:  Christmas Stress

Another related article:

Honoring Yourself

 

honoring yourself, self-respect, self-care

“You are a child of the Universe, you have a right to be here….” Desiderata

Hopefully the people in your inner circle honor and respect you.  If you have not been valued growing up, there is a good chance that you have not learned to value yourself and that you have chosen in your life partners who are the almost exact copy of your caregivers.  Germaine Greer said something like “you do to yourself as an adult what was done to you as a child”.

The problem with not being valued as a child is that you have learned to not expect much from anyone.  When you have received nothing in the past, crumbs feel like a gift. Your job as an adult is to revisit some, if not all, of the beliefs you have about yourself, others and life and to start expecting better and more.

How do you know if you are honoring yourself or not?

. Honoring yourself or have you abandonned your own heart?  You are not happy but are not taking action for fear of hurting someone else, because you don’t believe you deserve more

. Honoring yourself or finding excuses.  You find reasons to excuse how your partner or friends treat you.

. Honoring yourself or hiding what’s happening. Continue reading “Honoring Yourself”

Energy or fatigue: the relationship connection

emotional energy, good relationships, ee

When you look at people around you, see if you can detect who has emotional energy  (EE), and who shows sign of fatigue.  You may think that the life of the party person has it, and maybe you are right.  But maybe not.  Sometimes the quiet person in the room is the one who is very energized, while the loud, always smiling one is just covering up how they are really feeling.  A better barometer is Continue reading “Energy or fatigue: the relationship connection”